I can't express enough my gratitude to those who chose to contact me on their own. I didn't realize anyone really cared, which is why I guess I have so much disappointment towards those who were close to me in high school and are now turning a blind eye to me. I wasn't always a good friend to a lot of people, but that's why I emailed them - to apologize. And yet they couldn't respond with anything.
To those of you that are in relationships that aren't quite what you want them to be - hang on, try to work it out. The saddest thing you can be in life is someone like me. Look at your husband, wife, and kids and just remember there's someone out there that gave everything to have that life back - and lost it all. I have the receipts and bills to prove it. I don't know of anyone who's fallen so far so fast, and who really doesn't care anymore.
I guess I believed the movie fairy tail that if you broke up and got yourself together that things would come back around - not true. But just because it didn't happen for me doesn't mean it can't happen for others. I wouldn't wish one second of the last 6 years on anyone - period.
But then I have the upside. I've taken control of my destiny/fate, and not a lot of people can say that. They live within societal norms in the comfort zone. I, on the other hand, took the road less travelled, and maybe even unmarked at all. For once in my life I proved I had balls - big ones.
And what a better place to be in the winter months than Vegas? With temps from the 60's to 70's in the winter months it's a paradise. It's an adult version of Disneyland - it's the Devil's Playground. So much to see & do it's awe inspiring & breath taking all at the same time. If you've got to exit this life - this is the place to do it in.
I've meet some nice people while I've been here - all types, professionals, blue collar, white collar, and no collar. Tortured spirits and free spirits alike. The coming to better themselves and those coming to escape themselves. But I think each one of us that's here - regardless of lifestyle, all want the same thing - relief from whatever it is that haunts us. Be it a bad job, ex wife, crushing debt, ex girlfriend, or just a lifetime full of bad memories.
I am, at last - home. These people don't see me as homeless, just as one of them. Maybe they see a little bit of me in themselves, and I likewise. As the saying goes - "Que Sera Sera".
Merry Christmas All
