Homelss/ Last Post-

Well, it's been a fun ride kids. My deal with my roommate fell through and I am now officially homeless. Yes, you read right - homeless. I'll sleep in my car and make the best of it for as long as I can, after that - I don't know. So this will be my last post until I don't know when. Thanks for reading, thanks for caring, be safe and be happy.

Jobs!

Man, I'll tell you....this has been one hell of a week! I start out the week all depressed about prospects for a job and a few days later it comes to this:

1. I started my temp job today - it sucked. They didn't have our user accounts set up so we got no hands-on experience today. We only have 2 days of training counting today. We sat and did nothing for 2 hours this afternoon which doubly sucked.

2. My 2nd interview went "very well" tonight, in the words of the interviewer. They'll contact me in about a week.

3. I have yet to hear from my other interview, but it should be tomorrow sometime.

4. One of the places I interviewed with wants to send me for a drug test - which is a good sign.

I can tell you one thing - this week has left me exhausted!

Realization

As I was watching the DVD in my previous post, something became brutally clear. Most people in life rarely think about what it would truly mean to lose someone close to them, whether it be a parent, spouse, friend, whoever. What void would really be created, and how deep the pain? Walking away is easier than battling through the tough times, that's true. But are any really solid bonds created by walking away? Is any trust gained by not standing for who/what you believe in?

The Whirlwind

Make no mistake, the last few days have been crazy to say the least. I shouldn't complain though, I've been fortunate enough to be getting quite a few interviews. Here's the situation in a nutshell:

1. Tomorrow I start a new temp job which lasts 1 month.
2. I have an outstanding interview I'm waiting to hear back on by this Friday for a permanent part time position.
3. I have a second interview tomorrow for a full time permanent position that begins in May, after my temp. position would end.

It's all chaos right now, but positive chaos. I haven't eaten since last Saturday and I'm not really hungry - it must be the stress of it all. One thing's for sure - I'm **definitely** going out Saturday night to have a good time!

I was digging through my old video tapes that I converted to DVD and found my copy of Michele & Britney making easter eggs from 6 years ago. It was on top of the pile where it always is. I sat here and watched it, only knowing how things would've been had we gotten together now. I was different then, it just seems like a whole other life to me now. It's amazing how someone can change in just a few years.

2 For Tuesday = I'm Tired

The last few days have been nuts, with me going to more interviews than I'd like to. I had 2 interviews today - one which I neither cared for the job or the hours. The second one I'm waiting for them to call me back and hopefully schedule another interview. But aside from the tiredness, the news for the day is that I got a job. So at least for now, it looks like I'm meant to be here for some reason. It's a good thing too, I'm tired from running around for interviews. Looking for work is harder than working itself.

The Explosion

So after my post this morning, something strange happened. The "Man Upstairs" must have heard me because my phone rang once an hour for the next several hours. Not only that, but I got a few emails of interest as well! Maybe I was wrong, maybe I am **meant** to be here.

Oh and by the way, if anyone thinks they can help me find Michele - I want info only she & I would know before I make any pay outs.

A Plea for Help

Ok, things are getting worse. I've put in a **ton** of applications - all to no avail. My finances are quickly running out & I'm getting mega depressed. No one can help me with finances - granted, but I'm asking my readers for help.

To be honest, I'm at the end of my rope - no, really. I went to bed last night @ 7 and all I could think about was Michele & Britney. There is hopefully where one of you can help me. I've appealed to her family the last few years to try and get in contact with her, and all my efforts have failed. So I'm asking any of you if you possibly know someone by the name of Michele Baum (maiden name - Ozio) who has a daughter named Britney. Michele would now be in her early 40's. If you saw you'd know by her big brown beautiful eyes. If you can help I'd be eternally grateful and there **would be** some compensation involved. All I want is 10-15 minutes of her time - that's it.

It's looking like in a week or so I'll be shipping out of PA again, and I would at least like the opportunity to talk to her before I go. If you can help me, leave me a comment or an e-mail A.S.A.P.

Saturday Night @ the Fights

I never much cared for the Harrisburg club scene, and now I really don't. A friend wanted me go with them to a club in downtown Harrisburg to watch a live band - fair enough. First off, I drove to Harrisburg to find the place to no avail. So I came back to the West Shore and decided to give it another try. My friend was already at a parking garage and now I had to find it - which I did without much of a problem.

Then my friend locks their keys in their car - this is going to be a loooong night. The place is packed like sardines - people elbow to elbow everywhere. About 1AM I decide I'm going out for air and to enjoy the open space of the sidewalk. This is where things get tricky.

My friend spots a friend of theirs from high school, whose sister was in my graduating class. Now is where things need to be put into context. I actually liked & respected his sister, but I always felt like she put up with me because we hung out with some of the same people. Her brother (the guy in the bar last night), always looked down on me - and after 20 years and God knows how many drinks later - that feeling punched me dead in the face.

So my friend goes to talk to this guy, and I head for the door a few minutes later. As I'm passing both of them I was getting ready to tell my friend where I was going when this guy starts talking to me. Great, just great. He tells his buddies that we're "Good Friends" and then he puts his hands on me - not good. My reply was "Get you f***ing hands off of me!" I didn't know it, but there was a bouncer about ready to step in when I walked out.

The lessons learned on his part:

1. Don't call me a friend if we aren't.
2. Don't put your hands on me unless we are friends.
3. Never put your hands on me when I'm drunk.

So I went to my car and waited for my friend until 2:15AM. I found out that they had almost gotten into it with someone entirely different while I was in my car. We came back to the West Shore, got spare car keys, got their car, and they went home after following me home.

For the people that like the Harrisburg club scene - God love ya, but I'm staying out of it from now on.

Changes...

I have a new roommate! I went over to check the place out and it was great! The guy living there is pretty cool and around my age - he's 34. SO at least that aspect of my life is looking up, now all I need is a job. I have an interview tomorrow @ 2, so I'm hoping that pans out to be something positive. A few hours ago I wasn't feeling too optimistic, but now I'm feeling pretty damned good!

$ Crunch/Laundry Day

So last night was another festive evening. I shouldn't have done it, but I did - seeing as I have $14 left to my name right now. I'm still waiting for my new card, but it hasn't come yet. If it's not here by Monday I'll be sweating blood. The good news is that I have an interview tomorrow. It's for part time work, but part is better than no time. I can always fill in around the edges anyway at some point.

God knows I'm putting the resume's out there - I'm trying hard to find **anything** I can do. I'm just hoping tomorrow goes well and I at least have a part time position by 5PM tomorrow.

My roomie found another roommate, which is good. Although he's probably still pissed, maybe he'll feel charitable and give me my $150 security deposit back. At least I hope so anyway.

State of Confusion

Well, the shite hit the fan the other day. I decided my living situation is unbearable, so I wrote my roomie a letter telling him I'm out on the 31st. He got pissed, but he'll get over it. So now for the "Lost Weekend" recap.

Last Friday I checked into the Holiday Inn around 4ish and was promptly given a free drink coupon. Did I mention I like drinks, much less free drinks? So I took an hour to myself to just enjoy more than 12 cable channels and soak up the silence. I didn't miss the trains running with their horns blaring 30 yards from my room @ 2 in the morning, the lack of a hot shower, the lack of heat in my room, the whistling radiator in my room, and a million other things.

Then I went to the bar and hung out for a few hours. The bartenders were great - Tina & Rosie. When I'd had enough, I went to my room, where I slammed down Long Island Iced Tea and a bottle of champagne. Then I subsequently passed out.

I woke up Saturday morning with a slight hangover, so I did the best thing to combat a hangover - I started drinking again. I drank all day long, hit the bar again, then met Kevin @ 9 at what was Damon's Grill. It was closed, so we went to the Appalachian Brewing Company in Camp Hill. The food was good, but the waitress sucked. And that figures in a little later. After leaving there, it was back to my room and more drinking until sleep arrived. Oh, I forgot - I had to change rooms due to some loud noise that night from other guests.

Sunday I picked up a paper and scanned the want ads and hung out in my room, and you guessed it - drank.

Then came Monday. I really tried to will myself to come back to the house - but I just couldn't do it. I put in applications and headed back to the Holiday Inn (Legends) to celebrate St. Patrick's day. I drank for a few hours, then headed over to TJ Maxx to see my friend Tina for a while. Then when I figured she'd get busted for having me there I went back to Legends for more drinks. Then I went back to TJ Maxx and on to Your Place in Enola for more drinks. This is where the waitress from Saturday night comes in. As I'm sitting drinking, some guy comes up to me and starts talking to me - introducing himself as part owner of the Appalachian Brewing Company. I tell him I was just there a few days ago and tell him about our less than stellar waitress. He tells me she's been on probation for a while and says he'll handle it. I didn't want to get her fired, but I thought he needed to know. Then I got a room and crashed for the night @ the Econolodge.

Yesterday I had lunch with my sister and then went out putting in applications. Then it was off to Legends again for food and drink - mostly drink. I watched the Rangers & Penguins on TV - good game but missed the end.

So here I am - waiting on calls and my replacement credit card which I'm in dire need of right now. I have $100 left and am starting to panick a little bit. But I did my my first shower in 2 days and as many days since I brushed my teeth - ugh! Life wasn't this difficult in Vegas!

To be continued.........

D-Day

It's drinking day. Last night was horrid - I was craving a drink so bad I almost got out of bed and went to a bar. I decided that to hold me over I'll get a small bottle of champagne and throw it back before I check in - check in being @ 4 today. Then after that, it's off to the bar - have a few, and probably be passed out by 7 tonight.

One More Day

I spent most of the day job hunting, yay me! 2 positions were part time only (meh), and I won't hear anything from another place until next week. I'm going to try and deal with things here next week. I decided that after I chill out this weekend, I'm going to at least hang out here in the "noise pit" another week, if I can. I haven't eaten anything in 3 days and today I bought myself a coke out of a machine - too bad there wasn't rum in it.

Speaking of rum, Bacardi makes an excellent pre-mixed Long Island Iced Tea mix! I'm picking myself up a bottle of that and champagne before I get to the Holiday Inn. Maybe I'll wind up face down floating in the indoor pool by Saturday morning...LOL!!! I am going to have one swinging time this weekend, that's for sure!

I miss Vegas, but not as much as I missed home. Vegas is a great place - I call it "Disneyworld for adults." I think everyone should visit at least once in their life.

This Weekend = Lost Weekend

So the situation here noise-wise has gotten out of control. I need a few days out not living with someone to really decide what I want. Living with someone else is tough - period. I think the only way I really want to live with someone else would be with Michele. She was a joy - always thanking me for doing little things I just felt like doing. Of the people I've lived with (except one), have always been hard to please. Maybe I'll just employ my old Vegas tactics - I'll shower @ the gym and maybe live in my car. I had to sleep in my car with my last roommate and it wasn't easy. The key to sleeping in your car is positioning yourself comfortably, a rare skill indeed.

So anyway, back to needed some "Roommate-less" time. I decided to book myself a room @ the Holiday Inn in Mechanicsburg from Friday night to Monday to give myself time to think. This roommate thing just plain sucks, but I can't find a painless answer. The good part is that I have storage space in Mechanicsburg, but I'm afraid to put my computer there due to cold weather.

So I'll have 3 nights to party, party, party - YaY!!!

Leaving Already?

Last night was hell. I have train tracks behind my room and we had about 6 or 8 trains go through last night. My room was freezing, I hate the location, this guy's DSL service is horrid (worse than dialup), and most of the stuff in this place is older than I am furniture wise. At best, I stay until the end of the month,. At worst, I leave next week. So if anybody that knows me reads this, I'd like to make an offer. How about a weekend of gambling @ the Hollywood Casino in Grantville? You pay for your own gambling and I pick up the hotel room for the after gambling party? I need to stay away from this place as long as possible.

Mixed Emotions

I've been back in PA for a short time, but I'm already having mixed emotions. Did I do the right thing? Should I have gone somewhere else? As odd as it sounds the nomadic lifestyle I've had for 6 years does hold some appeal. Maybe it's because I'm not anywhere long enough to allow people to get to know me. That in turn protects me by me not opening myself up to be hurt again. Will I last here, I don't know. I can see myself packing it in and leaving again. Not in a matter of months, but in a matter of weeks.

Back Home!!!

The same fate that befell me when I left PA struck again on the way back. I left PA only to get stuck on a bus in a snowstorm, and it happened on the way back. I spent 2 days in Chicago waiting for my trip to resume. I can't say it was all bad - quite a few of us got loaded in the hotel bar. It could've been worse, I could've been stuck in an airport or plane for 2 days.

So I'm home. Now I guess I can start building over again. How many times have I done this since 2002? I can't even remember anymore. At least one thing is pretty much certain, the design for my new tattoo: Underneath cupid I want it to say "Love Sucks!" Because 100% of the time since Michele & I broke up - it does!

Good VH News!

It seems that the Van Halen news isn't as bad as first thought. At the band's official website it seems that Eddie's problem isn't his past drinking or drug use. Instead, it appears to be something else health related & the doctors are working to identify it and how to deal with it. I know how hard it is to even half heartedly attempt to beat the bottle, much less succeed. So at least one of us is making it so far.

Tomorrow I start to get my stuff together for the move on Friday. The weather doesn't sound great for the next few days out east, but it's been near 80 here in Vegas - just amazing! I can't wait to get home!!!!

Sad News

It's a sad day for music, Jeff Healey has died. I'll never forget his most famous song "Angel Eyes", which always reminds me of Michele. R.I.P. Jeff, you're now pain free my friend. Then I read that Van Halen's pseudo tour has been cancelled. Say what you want about Eddie Van Halen, but at one point the guy was one of rock's most influential guitarists. His battle with the bottle is well documented, and is something that I personally can't fault him for, sealing with the same issue. Did he ever really get over his divorce from Valerie Bertinelli? Only he knows. But I can imagine that even his best attempts to stay sober have been thwarted by his own personal demons - whatever they may be. I truely wish him well, besides battling with personal regret - the toughest battle is from a friend who's always there - be it a pill or a drink.

Mama, I'm coming home.

So here I am getting things in order to move back to PA. Weather permitting I will be home early Friday afternoon and celebrating Friday @ dinner time. I won't be in Mechanicsburg anymore, but instead will be living in Lemoyne. I really enjoyed living in Mechanicsburg, but for at least a few months will be living in Lemoyne. Oh well, beggars can't afford to be choosers - right?