Chillin' Out

Yesterday was a scorcher, no doubt about it. Today wasn't so bad, only around 80 - so working wasn't as trying as yesterday. I have a feeling it's going to be a long week emotionally. Let's face it, I only have 11 days to decide what I'm doing as far as going back to PA, and *if* I'm going back to PA. The way I see it, it doesn't matter where I go - my behavior over the last few months isn't going to change.

Before I went back to PA and was here in Vegas I stayed out of trouble, unless you count the seizure I had a while back. When I got back to PA I nearly got in a fight and embarrassed Tina to no end, then spent more nights in a motel due to just getting hammered than wanting to stay in a motel. Then there was the night bar management @ Legends made me stay or they were calling the cops to arrest me. After that they quit serving me after they thought I'd had enough.

Funny, but I never had those problems here in Vegas. I can't count on both hands and both feet the number of times I've been fubar and walked the streets with an open container - and been left to my own devices. That's part of the draw for me here in Vegas - it begs the individual to be hedonistic, without the threat of repercussions. I can live my life full throttle they way I want and not have to worry about being judged, or worse yet - busted for it.

The time for me to settle down passed 6 years ago this month, then the floodgates slowly opened until the surge was uncontrollable. Am I asking people to condone my lifestyle? Not at all. But what I *am* asking is not to be judged for it either.

I have a big decision to make and time is running out....