It Draws Closer......

With New Year's Eve drawing ever closer, my thoughts turn to ways to make the pain go away. I have several vicodin left to help me out, and I may just take them in the parking lot @ work before I leave for home Wednesday. I try to avert my thoughts, but I just can't - it's hopeless. I always thought I'd wind up in a situation like this, but the fact is that Michele was my only shot at something different - something much better. She offered me a better life, and a love that goes unparalleled to this day.

But it's because of her and her family that I do have a better life than I had then. Not because I lost her, but because losing her forced me into therapy and to get the help I had denied I needed for so long. So I guess there is a silver lining - although it's heavily tarnished by the fact it took her loss to get me to that point.

New Years Eve is coming whether or not I like it - and it's hard to believe it's been 7 years. But how many more will it be until the pain goes away? At this point....I'd have to say never is a fair assessment.