Don’t get me wrong, I know marriage is hard – any relationship is hard. But in the last year I came to realize there’s only 1 woman I’d marry, and I’ve been out of her life for 6+ years. And the fact remains we did break up. But to this day I don’t have the slightest traceable sign of animosity towards her at all. She did what she had to do, I was a very different person back then - **very** different.
But because of her I grew up and got a life, something I didn’t have previous to us being together. I don’t revel in the darker side of life anymore either. Instead, I view each day above ground as a good day – a holiday all on it’s own if you will. I learned not to hate everyone in the world around, and got to like me in the process. I simply dropped my “victim complex”.
But it was a long road, and even if we had stayed together – it would have been another 2-3 years before all the pieces of the puzzle came together. I knew at the time I wasn’t much of a boyfriend – I wouldn’t gotten rid of me long before she did. But in the last few years I can pat myself on the back. I didn’t go to counseling to get her back, I went to get me back.
She’ll never know that she played center stage in me getting me back. The me I like, and the me I can deal with. I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means, but I have made huge progress since then. I never made her promises as a boyfriend, but as a husband I would promise to do much better then before.
It’s true that as a boyfriend I was a miserable failure. But as a husband and step dad, I’d be a massive success.
