Pills 2 Cure My Ills

Considering I worked today, last night was not good. You see, despite the fact I had a few drinks and some pills to help me sleep – I only got about 3 hours of sleep. The lesson learned? Tonight I’ll double the amount of drinks and try the pills again, I’m not getting another 3 hours of sleep again tonight.

The problem was obvious. For some reason the gears in my min starting turning when I went to bed. The only thing I could think about was my pending vacation. Although I know I’m going to have a kickin’ time, I just wonder if I’m going to have some problems with my emotions at night.

Everyday for the last 6 years it’s been the same scenario. When I get up I’m lonely, when I go to work I have comraderie and I’m fine. Then it’s back home and back to the feeling of the loneliness and walls constantly closing in. I guess that’s why I spend so much time in bars – to ease the loneliness and enjoy a few hours of being social. Years ago I would’ve never have done the bar thing on a regular basis. Back then I hated myself and everyone around me – much less the world I lived in.

Oh well, it’s off to the boardwalk for the fireworks and then to Margaritaville for drinks.