Falling off of,

Then burning the wagon. That's what's going to happen tonight. I've been fighting off drinking for the last few days, but I'm done. I have to face the facts, this time of year is excruciatingly painful for me - especially New Year's Eve. I'll be spending the holidays alone, since I only have a day off for Thanksgiving and Christmas days only.

And after work, a discussion I had with my hair stylist put me over the edge. She had asked me if this was going to be the year I got Michele back before New Years. When there was no answer, she knew what the answer was. So I went next door to the state store and bought a bottle of "Smoking Loon" cabernet and will consume that this evening. And yes, I will keep my handy bucket next to me just in case of emergency.

That Old Familiar Feeling...

It's been since last Thursday night since I had a drink and things are getting rough. I've still not had any signs of detoxing yet - yet. That hardest thing is that when I get home work I get bored and want a drink. But I'll be "On the Wagon" at least until Friday, as I'm pretty much flat broke right now and don't get paid until Friday. Oh well, they say it's a day to day process. I don't know what percentage of people relapse, but I cam imagine it's pretty high.