Let the pain killing begin!

Si Left work At 4:13 and had a vicodin at 3:00. I left the parking lot, cracked open a beer - chugged it - then headed for the liquor store where I bought a bottle of Smoking Loon" wine. Since I got home 10 minutes ago ,I chewed up another vicodin and have started the wine chilling while a throw back a few beers. I don't want to be awake after 11 tonight. I'll just sit and remember having my first kiss with Michele and the rest of out relationship. People that can't understand how I feel why I feel after 7 years have never truely loved someone. As I said - she is, was , and will always be the love of my life. And with that, I leave you with these lyrics:

"Suicide Note Pt. I" - by Pantera

Cheap cocaine, a dry inhale, the pills that kill and take the pain away
Diet of life, shelter without, the face that cannot see inside yours and mine

[Pre]
When I'm hiding, when I need it,
it lets me breathe,
for our handle on this life, I don't believe
this time

[Chorus]
Would you look at me now?
Can you tell I'm a man?
With these scars on my wrists
To prove I'll try again
Try to die again, try to live through this night
Try to die again.....

Forever fooling, free and using,sliding down the slide that breaks a will
Mothers angel, getting smarter, how smart are you to regress unfulfilled?
It's a damn shame, but who's to blame?

[Pre]
[Chorus]

The Safety Kit.

Tonight's the night. I have my "Safety kit" ready, and when I say safety kit I mean beer and vicodins. I figure I'll have the vicodin around 3 this afternoon - then drink the beer after I leave work and get on the highway around 4. If I can keep the pace, I figure I should be out of it by 7 or 8 - long before midnight strolls along. Ten I can relax (sort of) for another 364 days until I do this all again.